Static air.
HopelessI've been writing on and off, I don't think any of it's really good, for other people to read at least. But it makes me feel better to write it. Maybe that's the point.
Newest
Needed: One heart.All these words are somehow just creating more of a problem. I can't tell you how I feel. I can't express into words what I'm really trying to say. And I'm finally starting to feel that even if I could, I might not want to.Needed: One heart.
I have this poetic heart. It beats off tune, falters, even stops at times. I've always wanted to trade it in. Find a donor whose heart wasn't so vulnerable and easily bruised. Maybe I'd finally be able to breathe when I'm around you. Maybe I wouldn't have to physically hold myself together when you leave.
by ~Karin-Wall
I was never one to try.The world is pushing me down. Everyone is forcing my hand, and I just need to breathe. Why can't I breathe? Why are you standing on my chest? Why must you torture me when you want nothing to do with me? Isn't it a little hypocritical? I hate myself. But haven't we established that already? I can't run, I can't stop this feeling.I was never one to try.
I can't BE okay.
I will never BE anything other than a mess of a human being. You're twisting the knife deeper and deeper and I'm afraid to admit that I need it now. If I'm not in pain, I'm not living. Or is that the point?
by ~Karin-Wall
And we're trying...I feel like the plastic bag that hangs on my door. Holding everything in that it would rather not. Knowing, that if it should let anything fall out, it will fail.And we're trying...
It will be tossed aside like the trash it holds.
But how much more can it hold before it eventually tears? The handles are starting to stretch and weaken, Losing grip on everything and the only thing it's holding onto. I'm going to feel guilty throwing it out. What if in doing so, you throw me out?
by ~Karin-Wall
It's my funeral, isn't it?Everything will come together. Somehow. Someday. I don't see this silver lining, I don't even see the light anymore. Shrouded in darkness, I see you. Only you. And I hate myself. More than imaginable. More than I know I should. I shouldn't cease to breathe when I see your name. Shouldn't feel my heart falter when I think of you. But I do. And it's all automatic.It's my funeral, isn't it?
by ~Karin-Wall
Favourites
maybe only hours separate us.this doesn't make my head hurt the way everything else does. i feel like the whole world could be flooding by me in quicker colors and flashes of florescent lights and you and i could be standing in the middle, standing still, with arcs of water up to our chins and our hands clasped together under the surface. but i'd still be able to inhale. i wouldn't be drowning the way i feel like i am now. and everything would be alright.maybe only hours separate us.
two hours from now, i'll be collecting my thoughts and collecting my breath. i'll be careening off course and out of your gravity pull, crashing my shoulder into more solid surfaces since sometimes your int
by ~paperheartsyndrome
living in the dark.one.living in the dark.
you are only a phone call away,
but somehow, this is much too far.
.
two.
when you are gone: i write 'i miss you' on my wrists. i name my pet fish after you and scribble gibberish on the walls.
the letters always spell out your name.
.
three.
silence only reminds me of you.
.
four.
i hope you understand when i say: i miss what you used to mean to me more than i miss you.
.
five.
di
by ~Amertie
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(:
Whats your story? Just curious.
And well, I havent been able to move on ever since. The bumpy patch was up since almost a year but this december the final blow came.
I do see him. I have to. And he tries calling me up because we know each other inside out. He talks to me when hes upset or needs a friend he killed, lol. I can't really tell him a NO because i can't hurt him. And then it makes me feel used. Abused, what not, but loved.
And Its hard being 20, because I already am. And it pretty much sucks harder.
<3
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